Lack of Surf Report, Ericeira, Portugal 17th of August 2009

For the last 2-3 days Foz do Lizandro has resembled the Mediterranean. Its flat and pleasant surface has altered the souls of the Rapture Camp inhabitants. A threateningly annoying restlessness has settled. The boys directed their anxious twitch towards carpentry. Pricey lead the team alongside Jono (his mentally disabled, government provided labourer), building a board rack like none have seen before. Froggy enrolled in Michel Thomas’ Spanish classes earlier this morning and is currently lurking on the front porch practicing his tongue roll on the passing chicas. Matt hasn’t been seen all day and it was theorized that he has eloped with spot, the next door neighbours geriatric Dalmation. Last night featured the camp’s weekly ‘going out for dinner’. Andi reported that the food was great, the wine agreeable and the conversation particularly excellent.
Tonight Ben will be sacrificed to the gods in an attempt to bring swell. Tina and Veri were brought to tears at the proposition stating Ben was just too sexy. Bernard quickly reminded them as if it was common knowledge, that the sexier the sacrifice the better the waves. As the girls drifted back from their dream of 6 foot perfect barrels the decision became unanimous. Simon spotted the opportunity and whispered to Rosemarie that she should have been sacrificed. She gave him an adoring smile.
Team England missed out on the debate as they were upstairs playing poker, smoking cigars and devising plans on how to bring a dictatorship-like rule to the camp.

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